American Idol Inu Yasha Style!
by SilverDragon921
Summary: Heh, I wrote this waaay back but was too lazy to finish off the last parts till now. PG-13 cuz of Inu Yasha's mouth. My first fic, i don't think it's that bad, so check it out! Huzzah!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha! There I said it, now leave me alone! *Lawyers all grumble and walk away angrily.*  
A/N: Hiya people! Hope you enjoy this little segment of, American Idol Inu Yasha Style, which I thought of one day, hope it doesn't turn out too bad, this is my first fic.(~_~)  
  
*~*~*  
  
Inu Yasha walked into the American Idol room in his red robe and a hat provided by Kagome so his dog ears would go unnoticed. Paula smiled gently; Randy gave a little smirk, while Simon simply looked bored as hell and asked, "Name?"  
  
"Feh, Inu Yasha," replied Inu Yasha arrogantly smirking with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  
  
They all greeted with their little hellos and Paula asked smiling, "What song will you be singing to us today?"  
  
Inu Yasha had to think for a little, "Uh." he finally remembered and smirked, "Michael Jackson's, Thriller." They all nodded their heads in approval and Inu Yasha got ready while Simon laid his chin in his hand while drumming his other fingers on the table. Inu Yasha cleared his throat, "Awwoooooo!! Awwoooooo!!" he howled excellently and expertly. Paula let out a suppressed laugh; Randy chuckled freely while Simon's hand and mouth dropped with a disbelieving look on his face. "Awww-"  
  
"Okay! Okay!" shouted Simon cutting Inu Yasha off, silencing him from further torture. "That.was pathetic! Absolutely pathetic! I have never seen anything more pathetic in my entire life, I mean you weren't even singing!"  
  
"I don't know Simon he was a pretty good howler," disagreed Randy playfully chuckling, "Paula?"  
  
"Um, I agree, the very best howler."  
  
"Oh, well, congratulations, now you can become a dog!" replied Simon mockingly.  
  
Inu Yasha glared at Simon and he pulled his hat off revealing his dog ears. Randy and Paula busted out laughing while Simon let out his own little laugh. Inu Yasha raised an angry eyebrow, "Is that..an insult?! Coz if it is.." Inu Yasha shrugs mockingly while they laugh, "then it's on you British..thing!" Inu Yasha leaps into the air ready to bash Simon and the table when guards came rushing in, catching him and dragging him away. Inu Yasha turns back to glare at Simon, "I'll be back you hear?! Yea, that's right, I'm coming to get you, you English muffin! Awwoooooo!"  
  
"Whoa doggy!" exclaimed Randy laughing at Inu Yasha's retreating form.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Hey! Get your filthy hands off me you pathetic excuse for a-oof! Oh so you people wanna play it rough now, huh?? Well I'll give you-"  
  
"Osuwari!" commanded Kagome slightly angered and embarrassed at Inu Yasha's immature behavior.  
  
"Oi, wench what was that for!!" angrily yelled Inu Yasha from the ground as best as he could. Kagome sighed shaking her head saying her apologies to the guards and everybody around them. "Once I get back up there I'm gonna- .."  
  
"Osuwari," replied Kagome bored and tired from Inu Yasha's rambling, she turned to look at the camera, "I apologize for my friend's crude behavior; he has an ill temper and the maturity level of my little brother." Kagome smiled politely at the camera then muttered under her breath, "I bet Souta has a higher maturity level than Inu Yasha ever will.."  
  
"Wench!! They were asking for an ass kicking! You don't mess with me and get away with it, besides they started it!" shouted Inu Yasha getting up. "So get it right before you pay the price!" (My brother says that all the time! n_n)  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes in slight annoyance, "Inu Yasha, osuwari."  
  
Inu Yasha slams into the ground, again, "Bitch! What the fuck was that for now?" grumbled Inu Yasha pissed as hell.  
  
Kagome turns to the camera, "See what I mean, a little kid." She then looks down at Inu Yasha and shouted, "Inu Yasha did you ever hear the expression, 'Act your age not your shoe size'? Use it!"  
  
"Oi, wench, remember I don't wear shoes! How the hell-"  
  
Kagome sighs, rolls her eyes and then turns to the camera, "Just go back to the auditions, this is going to take a long time."  
  
*~*~*  
  
The screen then shifts of to auditions and Miroku comes in seeing Simon and crew laughing their asses off. Miroku grins, "You met Inu Yasha? Cool, I'm Miroku Kazaana." They all nodded their heads after calming down somewhat, not bothering to ask what song he was going to sing. Miroku clears his throat and then he briskly walks over to Paula cupping her hands into his, "Before I perform, would a woman who acquires great beauty such as yourself, bear my child?"  
  
"What?!" shouted Paula surprised while Randy and Simon let out a full-blown laugh.  
  
"I'll let you think about that," Miroku replied slyly while winking and walking away smoothly. Paula laughed goodheartedly while Miroku stood ready. "I like big butts and I cannot lie!" Miroku starts dancing like a lunatic, sliding in his legs back and forth but not moving anywhere while he spun his arms in a circular motion to the rhythm. Paula and Randy laugh while Simon looks on with wide disbelieving eyes.  
  
"You other brothers can't deny! When a girl walks by with an itty bitty waist and a round this in your face you get sprung!" Miroku pretends he's on a horse, using his legs to gallop up and down, his left hand holding onto an invisible leash thingy and his right hand was in the air spinning pretending he was lassoing. When the sprung part came out he jumped back opening his hands then he continued on his little pony while Randy and Paula followed along with the lasso whereas Simon had his head in his head shaking it. "You wanna pull up tough, coz you noticed that butt was stuck!"  
He then started doing the same move as earlier but he was sliding backwards now, "Beef to the jeans she's wearing, I hooked and I can't stop staring! Oh baby-."  
  
"Alright! Alright!" shouted Simon in pure agony, shutting Miroku up. "That was by far the most ridiculously horrific act I have EVER laid my eyes on. I didn't think my eyes and ears could bear anything more..horrible! I can't make you any better as you see (Simon picks up his pen); this is a pen, not a magic wand. I suggest whoever sent you here that you sue them. Sue them for what they're worth. Horrible..absolutely horrible."  
  
"Horrible? Horrible eh?" shouted/asked Miroku. He bent over slightly while picking up his left foot, taking off his flip-flop with mild difficulty muttering, "I'll give you horrible." He was about to chuck his flip-flop at Simon when guards came rushing out tackling him down, sending his flip-flop in the air. They pick him up carrying him away and a guard gives him back his flip-flop while Miroku throws in his last words waving his flip-flop in the air, "I'll be back! I'll be back with my flip-flop!"  
  
"Aw hell, there goes another one. Damn Simon, everyone's on your back today!" mused out Randy giving Simon a funky face.  
  
Paula lets out a chuckle while Simon lets out a grunt and rubs his temples muttering, "Can this day get any worse? I mean first, he comes in and practically asks Paula to bed him!" Paula and Randy go into another laughing fit.  
  
"I wonder how many times that poor guy gets slapped around every day," stated Randy rather than asking.  
  
"Second, he starts singing about big butts, which is probably the worst song of all time and he dances like a complete idiot!"  
  
"I thought his dancing was quite fun," stated Paula laughing, coping the lasso trick.  
  
"I agree with Paula, I like big-."  
  
"Okay, I get it," Simon cutted in breaking Randy off of his little imitation. "Oh and don't get me started with Dog Boy."  
  
Paula and Randy laughs at the vivid memory which only happened like ten minutes ago. "I don't know, I thought it was kinda cute," replied Paula while Simon looked at her skeptically and she continued, "until the point when he tried to attack you."  
  
Randy laughs and agrees with Paula, "But, hey man ya gotta say, he's a good howler."  
  
Simon scoffs, "So what? Anybody can do it, see awo! Simple as that, really!" Randy and Paula stare at him for a moment then laugh.  
  
"Okay, Simon you do that, but be careful, they'll be coming to get you with their flip-flops," mused out Randy humorously.  
  
Suddenly, Inu Yasha came barging in with Miroku, "I can hear you, you know?!"  
  
"Here we go." muttered Simon rolling his eyes, a stoic face on.  
  
Miroku looks around and backs up with a pathetic, "Yea, we hear all! Arrghhh." then as in after thought he brighten ups and grins, "Hey Paula, so can I take you up for that offer?"  
  
Paula shrinks back in her chair, blushing while muttering, "Pervert."  
  
Randy lets out yet another chuckle and says amazed, "Damn son, a person could only wonder."  
  
Paula rolls her eyes and mumbles, "Yea really."  
  
Simon finally thinking he had enough let out an agitated sigh, "Oh god where are they? Security!!"  
  
Security walks in but then is pushed aside as Kagome and Sango walk by. Inu Yasha and Miroku visibly gulp, sweating nervously. The girls glare at the boys, tapping their feet, "Inu Yasha.."  
  
"Houshi."  
  
Miroku laughs nervously while Inu Yasha lets out a, 'Keh'. Suddenly Sango and Kagome are pulling on the poor hanyou and monk's ear while they let out a loud yelp. "Seriously, we can't leave you guys alone for one second without you causing trouble! At this rate they'll probably call S.W.A.T!" shouted Kagome, hurting the hanyou's oversensitive ears.  
  
Miroku and Inu Yasha let out a whimper as Miroku says sarcastically, "Ah, do you think you can pull any harder?"  
  
Unfortunately, the girls didn't catch the sarcastic tone and pulled harder. "OW!" they yelped out in pain.  
  
"Miroku you idiot!" shouted Inu Yasha angrily while imitating him in a high pitched voice, "Do you think you can pull any harder? Keh, moron."  
  
"Inu Yasha, don't even start," warned out Kagome meaningfully.  
  
"Now what do you boys have to say for yourselves?" Sango finally said after a while.  
  
"Uh.ow, hey!" started Inu Yasha but then stopped once Miroku kicks him, glares then grin at the girls.  
  
Meanwhile Simon, Paula and Randy look on with amusement. "What he means to say is that we are terribly and horribly sorry and we won't ever do it again," feigned Miroku innocently.  
  
The girls gave him a look but released their ears anyways, "Good, now lets go and don't cause trouble," replied Sango.  
  
"Yes, m'am," replied the boys, sulking. With that Sango and Kagome walked out with the boys following.  
  
Paula smiled and shouted after them, "You go girls!"  
  
Just as everyone walked out the door Miroku pops his torso out and winks, "Later Paula!"  
  
Inu Yasha's hand suddenly comes out and pulls Mirkou's collar muttering loudly, "Keep it in your pants man!"  
  
"Oh gosh," muttered Paula, rolling her pretty eyes.  
  
Simon suddenly says, "I quit." He throws his hands up slightly, " I can't take it anymore, these people are going to be the death of me one day."  
  
Randy snorted and replies, "Literally."  
  
"I know, really," backed up Paula.  
  
Simon looks down then lifts his head up, "What did I do to deserve this?" he then quickly turns to Randy who was about to answer, "Don't answer." He then turns to Paula, "You too."  
  
*~*~*  
Heh, well here it is, tell me what you think! My very first fic (sniff) I'm so proud! I hope it wasn't THAT bad, coz then, that will just suck really bad. -_-,  
  
Peyche!  
  
~SiLvErD921~ 


	2. Hm that went well

Hey, wasaaabiii?! Hehe, no school today [yes!] cuz it was too cold [brrr…] so they canceled. Anyway I had nothing to do and I didn't feel like doing my homework so I decided to add a chapter to this story.

Disclaimer: My ass hurts….

*~*~*

"Welcome to a new round of American Idol, with our judges, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and of course Simon Cowell!"

In hobbles Jaken, looking like his disgusting self. Randy and Simon make a disgusted face while Paula blanches with a sour face. Jaken squawks and finally states his name, "Jaken."

Everyone seemed to calm down a little bit and Simon finally spoke, "You may start."

Jaken seemed to clear his throat then he threw up five fingers and started bouncing, "Five little speckled frogs, sitting on a hollow log, eating the most delicious bugs! Yum! Yum!" Jaken then rub his stomach while Simon looked on with disbelief, Paula suppressing giggles and Randy was happily bouncing with five fingers up.

Jaken took his five fingers down then threw up one, "One jumped into the pool, where it was nice and cool, now there are four speckled frogs! Croak! Croak!" Jaken bounced side to side and made it seem like his hands said the 'croak croak' and then he threw up four fingers, "Four-"

"Enough!" cut in Simon, "Is this some kind of joke? First you come in dressed like a hideous toad and then you start singing a children's preschool song!" Randy and Paula are cracking up at this point.

"Hideous! You pitiful human dare call me hideous?! This Jaken will show you hideous -" 

"I think you've already shown us hideous," commented Simon, eyeing Jaken warily. Jaken stood there with his mouth open and another squawk came out, "Are you trying to catch bloody flies in your mouth?"

Randy let out a loud laugh while Paula looked away with a snicker. Jaken still, just stood there. All of a sudden his eye began to twitch. 

And twitch. 

And twiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

A squawk that stood in-between the lines of a battle cry emitted from Jaken's mouth as he ran, well, hobbled as fast as he could (which wasn't very fast, mind you) to Simon with his staff of four heads raised. Just as quickly (which was really, very slow, the network should really get better guards) a security man came bustling in, ready to haul ass when he accidentally tripped over a green midget who also went by the name Jaken. They went sailing across the room while Simon, Randy and Paula leaned over to see what was happening.

"Caaawwww!!!" clearly, Jaken was confused, his posture was so wrong, "What did this Jaken do to deserve this?! Sesshoumaru-sama!! Save this lowly servant!!" Jaken managed to heave out. The hippo who dared call himself human and on holiday weekends, _Daisy the Happy Whore_,  was stupidly sitting on Jaken, looking around. "Get off me you fat-ningen!!" with that Jaken mysteriously 'had the power' and broke free, sending poor 'Daisy' sailing into the air. Jaken then gave him a look that a low paying pimp would give to his non profiting hoe. Or, or a look that a hoe would give to another hoe that be standing on _her_ corner! Yeah, you get my drift.

'Daisy' got up and countered Jaken's look with a look that a fat man would give to low-fat cake (I mean who had a right to make low-fat cake!? When you go to the store you just want some fatty cake to drown out your sorrows not some vile, cheesy ass low-fat cake damn it!!! This world is so unjust) Jaken stepped back at the look (low-fat cake, puh!). Next thing he knew, he was getting dragged out.      

They were almost out when a thump was heard, "Ow, you little bastard, get back here!" came the angry cries of 'Daisy' while Jaken hobbled away with his staff of four heads.

"Well then," Paula finally said watching the somewhat disturbing scene which involved a talking toad.

"Wow," agreed Randy with wide eyes.

"Christ!" shouted Simon in exasperation, banging his head on the table, "What the bloody hell was that?" Things finally were under control after the stage crew lured Jaken away with a fish tank full of bugs that mysteriously had Sesshoumaru's face on them…but who are we to judge?

*~*~*

Sesshoumaru gracefully walked into the room and Paula was struck in awe by his beauty. Randy and Simon watched him with thoughtful faces, thinking, _'Is that a boa?'_  

Sesshoumaru sighed inwardly and muttered, "Why am I, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, doing in a ningen infested place like this?" he shook his head and then said loud enough so everyone could hear, "Sesshoumaru."

Simon snapped out of his thoughts slightly snickering with Randy and stated, "Ok, you may start."

Sesshoumaru then started in a low voice with arched eyebrows moving his head side to side,

_"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me. _

_I'm too sexy for my yukata too sexy for my yukata  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for my land too sexy for my land_  _  
in Western Japan"_ __

Simon's jaw drops, Randy's whole face drops and Paula is smiling admiringly.  

"_And I'm too sexy for you ningens   
Too sexy for you ningens   
No way I'm hooking up  
I'm a youkai you know what I mean  
And I like to destroy all you filthy ningens  
Yeah you ningens, you ningens  yeah  
I destroy all you filthy ningens-"_

Simon is handing up his hand, "Horrible song, absolutely horrible song, but your singing is very nice. If only you had a better song I would probably enjoyed it."

"I thought his song spoke the truth," purred Paula looking at Sesshoumaru with a seductive eyebrow.

Randy and Simon looked at her weirdly, eyes shooting back and fourth. Randy clears his throat shaking his head laughing a bit, "Yes I agree with Simon, but I uh was wondering dog, is that a boa?"

Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow at the _dog_ comment and just muttered, "Pathetic ningens," walking out. If we look close enough we can see Jaken following Sesshoumaru, sucking up.

"Yes, milord, you are indeed too sexy for this Jaken!"

Sesshoumaru suddenly froze and shook his head, giving Jaken a swift kick, sending him flying out the window. "Whhhyyyy?!"

"Hm, that went well," commented Simon dryly.

*~*~*

Naraku walked in with a cool, dangerous aura that made everyone in the room cringe. He smirked at Simon and Randy and smiled crudely over to Paula who shuddered. "Naraku," even his voice was dark.

"S-start," stuttered Simon, a chill running up his spine.

Naraku smirked evilly and snapped his fingers. All of a sudden the room was filled with music, everyone looked around confused at the funky piano sound.

_"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life _[back up youkai who pop out of no where: _ooohhh_]_  
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen"_

Naraku suddenly tore of his robes to reveal a pink frilly tutu and started to prance around because he was, no _is the dancing queen._

_"Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for the place to go  
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king  
Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high  
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance..."_

No one had a clue to what Naraku was doing, but right now it seemed that he was doing the _catch-me-I'm-a-swan_ move. Nothing mattered though, just him, Abba and his back-up youkai. Oh, and the fact that he was, no wait, _is_ the _shit, oh yeah_. He proceeded on with his pop girl band moves, his back-ups following his groove.

'_Pop, pop, turn, jump, oh yeah, I'm the shit'_ ran through Naraku's head as he smirked happily, nodding his head to himself. 

_"You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen-"_

Paula timidly asked Randy, "What is he smirking at?"

Randy just shrugged with a bewildered expression, "Why is he nodding his head?" He then started to laugh hysterically, it was too funny.

Simon was quietly looking on with wide eyes, silently thinking to himself, '_If I stick this bloody pen in my bloody eye would I die faster rather than stabbing it in my bloody neck?'_

One youkai suddenly danced his way over to Naraku and placed a neon green boa around his neck and then danced away. By this time Naraku was too much into his pop star moves to notice as he jabbed his elbows to his side and slid to the right with a turn and did some funky walking dance thing. Naraku suddenly ended it with some kick ass move, throwing his green boa in the air while his youkai men threw their hands up along with him marveling at the mysteriously floating boa, "I am the dancing queen!" 

Simon gulped; even he knew when not to mess with a person, "Uh, yeah, we'll call you-" and with a _poof, _Naraku was gone. No, rather, if they looked hard enough they can see the outlines of Naraku's youkai men dancing him out, but let's just leave it as him disappearing.

"Uh, ok," Randy commented with a really freaked out face.

"Ugh!" Paula shrieked, shaking, trying to erase Naraku's moment out.

"Never speak of this." Simon commented with wide eyes. 

Randy burst out laughing, "What a freak! Damn! He even scared Simon!"

Simon sat back with crossed arms, "I wasn't scared, confused but never scared."

"Surre," drawled out Paula, smirking at Simon's denial.

"Let's just continue judging," Simon snapped, slightly shuddering, glaring at the spot where Naraku once was, prancing his little or no heart or whatever occupies that space, out.

"Ok," Randy agreed, hands up defensively.

*~*~*

Heh, well I _tried_ to make it better than the first one. Not sure if it did though…oh well! _You tell me [hint, hint]! So was it good, did I totally suck? _


End file.
